Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
