So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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