Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
