and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
