I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
