I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
