I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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