How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
