What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
