eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
