She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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