It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
