so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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