Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
