I cockslap morals
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
