Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
