I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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