oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We need a shit load of segways right now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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