Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.