Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost