Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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