i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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