Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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