some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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