Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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