so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
