She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
