You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
