just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm both gender and math confused
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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