you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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