Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
