Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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