so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
