Dual....:-)
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
