dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
