drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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