HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
