I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
