So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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