he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
