There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
