WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Mom said you looked used
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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