take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
