That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
