i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
