if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
