Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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