I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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