so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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