he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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