I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
