i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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