she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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