Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
