oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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