what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
