New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
