my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
