Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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