Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
