I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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