The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
