My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
