The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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