shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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