i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
