Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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