I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
